Alex Jones gets all the headlines, but the real legal eagles know it’s attorney Norm Pattis actually going into court and dropping gems. Like when he explained that the families of Sandy Hook victims were downright ungrateful when Jones offered an autographed Trump portrait and some Chick-fil-A coupons to buy them off for years of abuse (not exactly, but the offer didn’t even cover attorney fees). Or when his client tried to blame a judge for refusing to respect his client’s doctor’s note that he was too sick to appear on video even after Jones went ahead and broadcast his show.
So it’s about time that Pattis gets his turn in the spotlight!
And the spotlight in question is a rambling, amateur stand-up routine replete with racial and homophobic slurs. He also takes off his pants… as one does.
As bad as this set is on a whole host of levels, it’s the intentionality of repeatedly isolating the Black folks in the audience that’s most despicable. He’s constantly trying to whip up a crowd to join him in belittling the Black woman in the front row. It’s literally the mentality of the mob on display.
In a blog post responding to criticism he wrote:
I’m branching out professionally, making the seamless and easy transition from criminal defense lawyer to stand-up comic.
I’d say “don’t quit your day job,” but I’ve seen how he does that too.
There are few folks more unctuous these days that the “woke,” the cabal of righteous folk who have decided they know what’s best for the rest of us. The new high priests and priestesses of identity politics – the Identitarians – are a social cancer. Humor is one way the lance the boil they represent on the body politic.
What a frigging crybaby. In a world where people can get locked up or killed for speaking out against governments and religions, this guy whines that people might not laugh at his jokes when he’s trading factory recalled goods on the marketplace of ideas.
Alas, his set is about seven minutes of explaining that he doesn’t like watching sports now that people talk about social justice — which must have made the Jackie Robinson and Muhammad Ali eras real tough for him. And complaining that commercials these days have biracial couples even though nobody knows any biracial couples in real life which was… I guess supposed to be funny instead of a poignant window into the social isolation required to be this much of a racist dirtbag.
I ended with a routine I had done before, reworking George Carlin’s bit about the seven dirty words into a take down of the sanctified identities we must now refer to only with reverence lest we offend. I chose my words carefully, like Carlin dropping the “f” bomb to shock sensibilities in the name of good sense, I uttered words designed and intended to offend women, the disabled, gays, transgender folk, and, yes, people of color.
Yeah, Carlin saying people are too uptight about words with sexual connotations is exactly like telling minorities they should suck it up when white people use slurs. It’s telling that it wasn’t like the n-word was considered acceptable in the 70s either and it’s not in this bit… for a reason.
The point is Carlin would say it’s ridiculous to say there’s never a reason to use any particular word, but that’s not the same as — to use a Carlin line from the bit — saying it’s OK to ask the bishop’s wife to “pass the goddamned lettuce.” To use a little legal jargon, you still need to lay a foundation and “because I want to” doesn’t cut it.
This isn’t the first time Pattis pulled this nonsense. He whined when people reacted with horror to George Floyd’s murder. His equally unfunny racist joke about beer bottles earned the ire of the NAACP. As I wrote at the time, he’s a product of a 1960s culture that spawned “these tragic dudes whose fixation on freedom amounted to a radical disdain for accountability. It put them on the right side of a lot of fights, but as the years drag by the shallowness of their commitment becomes clearer and clearer.”
Once again, the commitment was always to not getting hassled by “the man” and once that weight was lifted from the shoulders of guys like Pattis, they’re quick to drop it right back down on everyone else.
Some people suggest that he should be disciplined for his pattern of derogatory statements. There’s certainly an argument that it portrays the profession in a bad light. Though he’s free to express his horrible ideas and keep his job just as much as the rest of us are free to ridicule him, protest, and organize boycotts — because that’s what actual free speech looks like.
But his crimes against comedy? There’s got to be some kind of discipline for that.
Earlier: Attorney Calls George Floyd A ‘Sh*tstain,’ And Other Awful Things Lawyers Are Doing Right Now
Lawyer Sends Around Racist Pictures Of Beer, NAACP Gets Involved
Alex Jones’s Bankruptcy Lawyer Indignant That Sandy Hook Plaintiffs Aren’t Grateful He Spared Them Their Day In Court
Alex Jones Coughs Up Fines, Calls Judge Biased, And Whines That He Is The Real Victim In Sandy Hook Defamation Trial
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.