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Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Shari E. Belitz to our pages. Click here if you’d like to donate to MothersEsquire.
I have been a working woman for 25 years. I’ve been a lawyer, an insurance professional, and a trial consultant. I’ve given keynotes to groups of thousands, written books, blogs, and articles. I’ve founded a business, and educational company, and engaged in intense academic study. None of this compares to the work I put in during the 12 weeks of maternity leave. I would probably start crying if I had to write about it, so I set it music, so I can laugh about it.
The 12 Weeks of Maternity Leave
On the first week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
No more needles I’m IVF-free!
On the second week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
A scar from my emergency C!
On the third week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
A respite from gestational diabeteees!
On the fourth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Constant feedings that took an hour or three!
On the fifth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
SIMULTANEOUS COLIC SCREAMS . . .
On the sixth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Post-partum anxietyyyyy!
On the seventh week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Dry eyes and it hurt to seeee!
On the eighth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Continued liver problems from cholostaseees!
On the ninth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Many diapers filled with pee!
On the tenth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
Pediatrician appointments each month about three!
On the eleventh week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
A light at the end of the tunnel I was starting to seeee!
On the twelfth week of maternity leave my babies gave to me,
A chance to SIT ON MY ASS FOR FREE!
The colic, as well as the post-partum anxiety, which followed from years of being an infertility patient, birthed feelings of being completely overwhelmed. As a trial consultant, I straddle the world of two disciplines, law and psychology, which teach us to view facts and statistics in a detached logical fashion. Logical is exactly how I approached my maternity leave. Logical. Simple. Factual. Have a baby (or two). Take allotted time off to care for baby (or two). Put on a suit, some shoes, and get back to work. My logical mind did not take into account all of the intangibles, and the creativity and grit it would take to accomplish life’s most basic tasks.
Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the office. My logical brain was never the same, and in exchange, with my gift of two babies, I was gifted the chance to put my creative side to work. I now look back on that time with the hindsight of someone who not just survived the experience, but went on to pursue degrees in psychology that I have put to use as a successful litigation consultant. It’s now my job to help my clients identify the biases at work in the law — such as caregiver bias or bias against mothers — and know now to respond. I now draw on my personal experiences, my training, and that gift of creativity. Yes, as a trial consultant, I train my clients to view facts and statistics logically. As a woman and mother, I also train my clients to use that logic in creative ways to their advantage.
Shari Belitz is a nationally recognized litigation consultant, keynote speaker, best selling author, and CEO of Shari Belitz Communications, LLC. Shari’s litigation consulting helps civil defense lawyers achieve favorable litigation outcomes using psychology. Prior to her litigation consulting career, she worked in private practice and in-house, handling complex mass tort lawsuits. While working as an attorney, Shari pursued a graduate certification in forensic psychology. She is also mom to twins.
