He gave you fair warning! Last week, Donald Trump signed a sweeping agreement with big tech leaders to change the name of artificial intelligence — a term that dates back to the 1950s — with his new proposal “super intelligence.” And in a super intelligent move, the agreement managed to misspell “United States.”
Why did he insist upon renaming a technology with brand recognition somewhere between Jesus and Coca-Cola? Well, Trump seems to be a big believer in the power of name changes as a substitute for actual executive leadership. From NAFTA to the USMCA, the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, or “a terrific guy” to “Epstein, who?” Trump has always run to the welcoming embrace of clumsy rebrands even though exactly nothing substantive changes.
With AI becoming increasingly unpopular and the public clamoring for a response to AI agents escaping their sandboxes and hacking other companies, Trump took the task as seriously as he does everything about his presidency, brainstorming a new nickname and calling it good. Immediately after signing the agreement, a reporter asked about liability for autonomous AI hacking and Trump replied by cutting off the reporter and talking about how it’s NOW called “SI.”
Since then, the DOJ received orders to universally adopt the term, which has already created embarrassing press releases like this:
“Super intelligence” sounds like a Bond villain used an ominously self-aware computer to empty Fort Knox. In reality, it’s a guy setting up bots to obsessively click on one guy’s shitty music to game royalty payments.
Alas, it seems as though this new name isn’t taking off the way the president hoped. At least that’s the takeaway from his latest Truth Social post:
“THE ENEMY!” Say what you will about Richard Nixon — and this Justice Department demands you say only nice things about him — but at least that guy took the time to really cultivate an enemies list. Nixon singled out people like Paul Newman. Trump sees enemies in the face of anyone unwilling to call the algorithm that just invented 20 fake case citations a “super intelligence.”
We used to be a proper country.
Under anything approaching normal circumstances, the cabinet would be perusing the 25th Amendment right now and wondering if it’s time to pull the plug on a president spending his afternoons on his tiny personal social media platform, blasting his frustration at failing to unilaterally change a universally accepted term. This is that part of the Dr. Evil monologue where he describes his crazy father making “outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.” Whatever lingering faith the people around him might have had in his mental fitness should now recognize that, well, super intelligence it ain’t.
As for the name change, it seems as though Trump’s edict has failed to move the needle so far. He signed this agreement with a company named OpenAI. What exactly did he expect to happen there? In legal technology, the AI lingo also appears to continue to hold sway. Harvey can still be found at Harvey.ai. Anyone looking for Relativity is still going to be dealing with “aiR.” Thomson Reuters still calls it Fiduciary-Grade AI, but they’re Canadian so they already were the enemy.
It’s been three hours since his declaration of war and he’s doing about as well against the tech world as he is against Iran.
But perhaps SI can still catch on… if Mike Pence has the courage.
Earlier: Department Of Justice Ordered To Call Artificial Intelligence ‘SI’ To Satisfy Donald Trump Fever Dreams
Nobody In The Room For The White House Super Intelligence Accord Thought To Proofread It
Trump DOJ Considers Mission To Exonerate Richard Nixon
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter or Bluesky if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.
